I am relatively new at blogging. This blog started in April of 2008. I read blogs and thought about starting a blog but I was not ready. I knew AnnaKate had RTS and I knew the ramifications that went along with it but I was not ready to share my feelings. The first year of AnnaKate's life I think I pretended that her RTS was not as "bad" as others. AnnaKate was different. I did not want to seek out information because it would not apply to AnnaKate. I told our geneticist that I was only on a "need to know" basis with information regarding RTS. I think he thought I was in denial, I really wasn't but I just could not handle hearing all of the information. I knew myself well enough that I needed to take it slow. I could only take baby steps. After AnnaKate turned one it was really obvious how developmentally delayed she was. That year I slowly investigated RTS and wrapped my brain around the big picture. Right after AnnaKate turned 2 her speech therapist emailed me a link to a blog that she had found of a little boy with RTS. I will never forget what it felt like to read Jessica's writing on her blog. Her written words were my thoughts. I just sat and cried. I could not believe how connected I felt to her when I read her words. I emailed her immediately and the journey to acceptance had begun. I knew I could not face RTS until I was ready. Once I began blogging and getting to know our RTS sweeties and their families I could not believe how my fears subsided. Knowing that there are others that are on the same journey with you makes you feel so safe. Each day with AnnaKate is such a pleasure. I am so glad I have you to share it with!
Friday, November 14, 2008
My Journey
When I started this blog I said that I really did not know what type of blog it would be. A sharing blog, an inspirational blog or a combination. Mostly I share about AnnaKate and our daily life. Cindy's post reminded me that I need to share about my journey being AnnaKate's mom.
I am relatively new at blogging. This blog started in April of 2008. I read blogs and thought about starting a blog but I was not ready. I knew AnnaKate had RTS and I knew the ramifications that went along with it but I was not ready to share my feelings. The first year of AnnaKate's life I think I pretended that her RTS was not as "bad" as others. AnnaKate was different. I did not want to seek out information because it would not apply to AnnaKate. I told our geneticist that I was only on a "need to know" basis with information regarding RTS. I think he thought I was in denial, I really wasn't but I just could not handle hearing all of the information. I knew myself well enough that I needed to take it slow. I could only take baby steps. After AnnaKate turned one it was really obvious how developmentally delayed she was. That year I slowly investigated RTS and wrapped my brain around the big picture. Right after AnnaKate turned 2 her speech therapist emailed me a link to a blog that she had found of a little boy with RTS. I will never forget what it felt like to read Jessica's writing on her blog. Her written words were my thoughts. I just sat and cried. I could not believe how connected I felt to her when I read her words. I emailed her immediately and the journey to acceptance had begun. I knew I could not face RTS until I was ready. Once I began blogging and getting to know our RTS sweeties and their families I could not believe how my fears subsided. Knowing that there are others that are on the same journey with you makes you feel so safe. Each day with AnnaKate is such a pleasure. I am so glad I have you to share it with!
I am relatively new at blogging. This blog started in April of 2008. I read blogs and thought about starting a blog but I was not ready. I knew AnnaKate had RTS and I knew the ramifications that went along with it but I was not ready to share my feelings. The first year of AnnaKate's life I think I pretended that her RTS was not as "bad" as others. AnnaKate was different. I did not want to seek out information because it would not apply to AnnaKate. I told our geneticist that I was only on a "need to know" basis with information regarding RTS. I think he thought I was in denial, I really wasn't but I just could not handle hearing all of the information. I knew myself well enough that I needed to take it slow. I could only take baby steps. After AnnaKate turned one it was really obvious how developmentally delayed she was. That year I slowly investigated RTS and wrapped my brain around the big picture. Right after AnnaKate turned 2 her speech therapist emailed me a link to a blog that she had found of a little boy with RTS. I will never forget what it felt like to read Jessica's writing on her blog. Her written words were my thoughts. I just sat and cried. I could not believe how connected I felt to her when I read her words. I emailed her immediately and the journey to acceptance had begun. I knew I could not face RTS until I was ready. Once I began blogging and getting to know our RTS sweeties and their families I could not believe how my fears subsided. Knowing that there are others that are on the same journey with you makes you feel so safe. Each day with AnnaKate is such a pleasure. I am so glad I have you to share it with!
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Billy and I married in 1998 after dating for 6 years. In 2006 we adopted AnnaKate. We were lucky enough to meet her birth mother and take her home from the hospital. At about 4 months old, AnnaKate was diagnosed with Rubinstein-Taybi Syndrome. Through all of AnnaKate's struggles and delays she surprises and delights us daily! Thanks for marking this spot and coming back often to check in on us.
13 comments:
I am so glad you emailed me, we have been connected ever since. I feel like we are old friends, even though we have never met.
Love you friend:)
Oh friend. Thank you for writing. I appreciate your words and you sharing your journey. Since I hardly ever get to talk to you at school, at least I can catch up here. Not quite sure what I would put on my own blog, but maybe I could have a "Since I couldn't talk to my friends today..." blog. :)I love you! Chap
I agree...it makes it sooooooooo much easier to walk this path, knowing there are others doing it, too. Thank God for the internet...how did special needs parents survive before?
Kelly, This was a moving, honest post. I am glad to share you and your family's journey.
What a great post! The journey is just as important as the destination.
I can relate to a lot that you have shared. Our journey is less scary when we know we are not alone. Thanks for being vulnerable and open.
Connecting with others that are in similar situations is very helpful and theraputic- I'm finding that out as well! :)
I am SO proud of you for allowing yourself to be so open and for sharing your journey with all of us. I cannot begin to imagine my life without you and AK in it. I love you so.
Cathy
Kelly,
I am so glad that you have this blog as an outlet. You are such a wonderful parent and you are a great advocate for AnnaKate. You have really used this blog for both light hearted and serious stuff. Both are important for anyone's sanity. AnnaKate is such a fun little girl and she really is making great strides. Thanks for being honest. Reading your blog, and lurking on others like yours :), has given me a perspective that I hope will help me work with families in a more understanding manner.
Oh, and I use your story as an example of why it is a good thing that I spend so much time looking at blogs at night!
The first few years were confusing and unnerving for all of us that love AnnaKate. But last fall things turned a corner. AnnaKate started developing so fast and now it is so exciting to see her changing. And one thing I really enjoy is watching you with her. She is the luckiest little girl to have you as her mama. You make her play time and learning time the same.
I know in my heart that AnnaKate will surprise us all in many ways during her life. She has surprised me with something new everytime I see her. Since I don't see her everyday I see the changes in big steps.
All of us who love AnnaKate will worry about her at times but these worries will be followed by some new feat she can do and we'll lose our worries in those moments.
Guess Who
See, that Melissa is good for something, isn't she?! :) I'm so glad you found other moms who are going through the same thing you are. Why does it make it "easier" to know other people are dealing with the same issues as you? Who knows, but it just does and I'm so glad you have them!
Enjoyed your honesty in this post...for whatever reason, it makes the load a little easier to carry knowing that others are walking the same path.
I agree, I don't think I could have gotten through the initial shock and denial if it weren't for everybody sharing their journey with me. It's nice to know that it's okay to feel the way I am feeling and that my fears are normal. Because everyone has been through it and we are all in this together.
I keep forgetting to ask but would you mind if I linked your blog to Sawyer's?
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