Today is the day. The day to
Spread the Word to End the Word. The word I am talking about is retarded. It is actually a clinical term for referring to intelligence but it is often used as a hateful term. Every time someone uses that word to insult someone or something they are saying that if you are retarded you are less. Our precious daughter may very well be categorized as retarded. Are you saying that our baby is anything less than perfect? We don't think so. So think before you use this word in a playful or insulting way. Our language frames how we think about others and it is one of the most powerful tools we have.
Take the pledge with us to eliminate the r-word in everyday speech. So leave a comment today and let us know that you have our AnnaKate's back and you will help us Spread the Word to end the WordHere is a post from a fellow RTS mom. Her words are just perfect.
Thanks TerriI don't talk about it much, as there are all sorts of assumptions about a mother's perspective floating around. Sometimes it's assumed I am speaking from a gaping wound I have, one caused by having a daughter who was born with mental retardation. Bitterness is often attributed.
I don't have any gaping wounds or bitterness. What I have for my daughter is pride, hope and respect. I have what every mother of every kid has, the desire for her child to find her place in the world and make the most of it. I want for her to know what fulfillment feels like.
But the misuse of a clinical term is a bit of an obstacle to this. As long as people choose to use the word as an insult, there will exist a misconception about the capabilities and value of people who are indeed affected by cognitive differences.
The usual counter to what is packaged into political correctness is to piffle at it - bah, it's just a word and it's my problem if I choose to be hurt by it. I am not actually hurt by it. Nor is my daughter. Hurt is not the right word. I am disappointed by the choice to use the word this way. If regular joe's think it's fine to say, then we are far from the society we can be, we profess to be: one that not only accepts differences, but celebrates them. We're just not there yet.
And this is not a freedom of speech issue - a rule that the word be erased from today's vernacular altogether is not what the campaign is about. We all know it's just a word. It's about rising and becoming a culture where people opt in to respecting those that are often either invisible or marginalized. Use the word all you want. Just keep it clinical and factual.
I know this - when the word retard or retarded is flung to amuse and insult(those of typical cognitive function, that is) simultaneously, I do know that it is not with direct, intended malice to my daughter or anyone intellectually diverse. The effort to encourage thought before throwing out this word to describe something less than desirable is not about the uprooting of purposefully bad intentions people have towards those with developmental disabilities, towards my child - I think those intentions rarely exist, if at all - it's about looking at the big picture to see the affects misuse of this word has on general acceptance and true inclusion (as opposed to just tolerance and/or patronization) of people like Addie. It's about awareness and mindfulness, really. Perpetuating the misdirected use of a word that describes part of who my daughter is stands in the way of my ultimate goal of ensuring she is a full citizen of the planet, contributing in meaningful and valuable ways.
A soapbox this is not. I am on the ground with everyone else. I too, have used this word in the past in just the ignorant ways this campaign is attempting to enlighten. A small chunk of awareness was bundled in with the packet from the geneticist containing our daughter's diagnosis a few years back. Bonus free gift.
She got a diaper...
She got some wipes...
And then she put Lilly in the Diaper Champ...I think she got a little confused here! :)
I just love seeing AnnaKate's imagination at work.
On Saturday Jessica and I had a wonderful lunch with fellow blogger, Emily. We had the best time talking and when we left I felt so connected to her and her precious Cohen. I hope we get to have a 3 hour lunch together again soon!
Since it was just the two of us (we missed you Myssie, Kelly F. , Christine and all the other RTS moms) we had lots of pictures of just the two of us. Cheese...
Today AnnaKate and I got out of school early due to some snow. So I decided today would be a great day to do a trial run of her birthday cake. If you know me, you know that I plan way ahead for birthdays! AnnaKate is having a cupcake themed birthday in April. I am using the Williams-Sonoma Giant Cupcake Pan to make the cake. I have heard mixed reviews about the pan so I wanted to do a test run. I also want to decorate it with fondant...so again..this is why a trial run is needed!
No final pictures...it is still cooling.
Billy and I married in 1998 after dating for 6 years. In 2006 we adopted AnnaKate. We were lucky enough to meet her birth mother and take her home from the hospital. At about 4 months old, AnnaKate was diagnosed with Rubinstein-Taybi Syndrome. Through all of AnnaKate's struggles and delays she surprises and delights us daily! Thanks for marking this spot and coming back often to check in on us.
